Q&A: How Often Do You Have Sex?

Let’s talk about sex, baby! There’s no question that we all have it, so why aren’t we talking more freely about it? Sex is beautiful. Sex is fun. Sex counts as exercise and is said to burn 100 calories for men and 69 calories for women (nice!). Sex improves sleep, relieves stress, and studies have shown that sex can help with depression and one’s overall well-being. Three cheers for sex! So our question is, how much of it are you having? Yes, we are curious about your history between the sheets. Are you a 20-something, 30-something, 40-something, 50-something, 60-something…? Are you single, married, dating, monogamous, do you have multiple partners, are you celibate? What does your sex life or lack there of look like? I know a married couple that pencils in sex for every Wednesday night after their kids are in bed. It’s a regular, somewhat mandatory thing — like a doctor’s appointment, only not. How often do you partake? Join the conversation, and feel free to share anonymously if you’d prefer, although we see no shame in sex talk.

Written by: The Editors

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13 Comments

  1. Jocelyn

    June 25, 2019 at 2:39 pm

    I’m in my late twenties and my husband and I have sex several times a week – usually between 3 and 6 times!!

    Reply
  2. T

    June 25, 2019 at 2:53 pm

    Thirty-seven years old- we’ve been married for fifteen years and we have four kids ages 5-12. On the average, we partake at least 4-5 times a week. There are weeks with more frequency, and we’ve for sure had significant dry spells during all of those years of non-stop pregnancy and breastfeeding (I’m not even sure how some of those kids slipped in there, honestly). But it’s one of those things- like running or eating well or drinking enough water- the more that you do it, the better you feel. The better you feel, the more you want to keep at it. It’s worth intentionally investing the time. We’ve never put it on our calendar, but there have been weeks where I’ve made the mental note to initiate because it had been a long few days and someone had to.

    Reply
  3. Marisa

    June 25, 2019 at 4:40 pm

    This is a great topic, because guess what, we are still living our lives at every age. I’m 38. My honey (not married) have been together since 2003… I’m not doing the math. We have 3 children, with a 15 year gap between the sets. In those years, I have found that like most things there are ebbs and flows. We hit highs and dip low, but Like the song says “it takes two to make a thing go right, it takes two to make it outta sight.” 💕💥🤘

    Reply
  4. Maria

    June 25, 2019 at 7:41 pm

    I am 40 years of age. My love and I have been together for 6 years. I have 15 and 17 year old boys from another marriage who primarily live with us. We have sex EVERY day first thing in the morning sometimes twice a day. We both have very busy, very demanding careers. From the beginning of our relationship, we promised each that no matter how exhausted we are that we would make sex a priority. Our sexual connection is so very to the both of us.

    Reply
  5. J

    June 25, 2019 at 8:36 pm

    I am 34 with a 3 year old and a 9 month old. We have sex maybe once a week, and sometimes we go longer. Both babies were 10lbs and caused significant tearing. It was very painful until recently, but I honestly have zero interest. I’m still breastfeeding, and thinking those hormones are likely the cause for no libido. I want to quit so I can try to level out, but I feel so guilty stopping before a year…..and we want a third child so there’s that 🙂

    Reply
  6. H

    June 25, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    My husband and I try and have sex twice a week. We have a 9 month old and I am still breastfeeding. Trying to be patient with myself as my hormones continue to rearrange, but wishing I had the urge like I did pre-baby.

    Reply
  7. Lele

    June 26, 2019 at 12:27 am

    I’m 37 and have been married for 13 years. We show a lot of affection on a daily basis and have a great marriage. Sex is a weekend thing for us, and sometimes we skip it if one of us is tired, so we probably have sex 2-3 times a month which has been typical throughout our marriage.

    Reply
  8. M

    June 26, 2019 at 7:13 am

    I am 33 years old. My husband and I have been together for 14 years. We have 3 kids together, the youngest being 4 years old. We had sex pretty much every day before kids but it has been less frequent since having kids. I’m only really in the mood at night and he prefers morning so that is part of the reason but also, our 4 year old still wakes me up twice a night to help get to the bathroom so I’m not getting good sleep and am pretty exhausted by the end of the day. I will say though that once we do have sex, we tend to have it more often. Sex begets sex.

    Reply
  9. Tom

    June 26, 2019 at 9:08 am

    I am 32 years old woman, married for 4 years, baby is one and a half 🙂 2-3 times a month is the case for us. tired as hell al the time but we both still initiate and feel free to do so. I guess my partner wish for more. Occasionally I treat myself alone. Most nights we both fall asleep on the living room sofa.

    Reply
  10. Paolo U.

    June 26, 2019 at 11:20 am

    In our case, we have sex once a week, we both live very far away and only on Sundays we see each other, with luck twice a week, and every Sunday we do it. we have a very strong spiritual connection, sentimentally equal and sexually wonderful. Every time when we start the action is beautiful, we want to live together, for the good of each one … imagine how beautiful it would be …

    Reply
  11. S

    June 26, 2019 at 11:46 am

    In my late 20s and my boyfriend and I have sex several times a week– I’d say typically 4-6 times a week. We just moved in together not too long ago so that’s made things more convenient (and fun!!!). Our sexual connection is strong and a very important part of our relationship. If we go too long without, we both start to feel “off”, so that makes sex a major priority for both myself and my red hot lover of a boyfriend 😉

    Reply
  12. Bailey

    June 26, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    I wonder if there are others who stress over the frequency of turning down a partner. Sex can be so fun & liberating, but for those who have a lower sex drive than their partner, it can seem burdensome. Perhaps the rate of attraction changes throughout relationships & I feel that typically women are more variable. I can resonate with that 😅😬

    Reply
  13. K

    June 26, 2019 at 3:08 pm

    In my mid 20s and my husband and I have been married for 2.5 years, no kids. We have had ups and downs (mostly due to my mental health and career anxieties) but lately we have been on an upswing having sex almost daily (and sometimes twice a day!). My libido is lower than his, so sometimes I struggle with turning him down when I’m not in the mood. I usually try to see it as exercise in these times, even though I don’t really want to, I know we will both feel much better afterwards. The longer we don’t have sex, the harder it is to have sex. Sometimes when I’m not 100% in the mood, we will turn on porn to get things going but we try not to make this a regular occurrence in the bedroom.

    Reply

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